God created sex to be enjoyed in the bonds of marriage, between one man and one woman. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:3
Man on the other hand, has taken this beautiful gift and spoiled it by indulging in lustful desires outside of the marriage bed. Each one of you know how to take a wife for himself in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like heathen who do not know God. – 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5
And by attempting to satisfy our lust outside of the marriage bed, we objectify the other person and we abuse God’s beautiful gift.
The perception of sex has changed dramatically over the last few decades. Abstaining from sex until marriage, which was once considered normal and honorable, is now seen as strange and prudish. Sexual promiscuity and pornography are no longer taboo, but commonplace.
But God sees all attempts at feeding sexual desires outside of the marriage bed as adultery. “You shall not commit adultery. – Exodus 20:14
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. – Matthew 5:28-29
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. – Proverbs 6:32
For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. – Ephesians 5:5
As we can clearly see in these verses from Proverbs, Ephesians and Matthew, the view of the world that sex out of marriage is no big deal does not harmonize with God’s view. God sees it as destructive and damaging to our relationship with Him.
Fighting the battle against lust is not easy. Many of us have fed the fires of our desire for years prior to accepting Jesus as Savior and Lord. Trying to change a pattern of a lifetime is extremely daunting. In fact, I would say it is impossible to do, at least in our own power. However, we do not need to accomplish this on our own, but in Jesus’ power. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. – Romans 6:14
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. – Ephesians 2:10
Turning to God is the only way to defeat those lustful desires we all have. A growing relationship with the Lord is the only thing that can ever truly satisfy us. Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” – John 4:13-14
Additionally, by seeking God in all things, He will ignite our passion for our spouse. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23
Can you imagine a marriage that is built on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? What more could we need?
BefreeinChrist would like to know what you have found to be helpful in living this out. Is it the accountability that this or other groups afford, or the encouragement of the scriptures? Perhaps it’s a 12-step group, like Sex Addicts Anonymous. We have so many tools and weapons at our disposal, that we should avail ourselves to, including the many on this site. Please send a response HERE.