Dear Free in Christ Brothers,
Many of us indulge in P&M as a direct result of the tyranny of false beliefs about ourselves. These mis-beliefs have been in the garbage bags we have carried around since birth. There are plenty of misbeliefs that have been planted in our minds, either through environmental circumstances or the work of Satan.
One of the most common misbeliefs I hear in this group is: “I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.” Brothers, this deception gains strength every time we base our self-worth on past failures, dissatisfaction with personal appearance, bad habits, etc. It gets STRONGER with every failure, every sexual fall. Some people try diligently to overcome their problems, especially the sexual ones, but find themselves unable to do so.
Eventually they give up and resign themselves to a life devoid of joy or freedom, and plunge head first into sex. How can they ever feel free if they BELIEVE that change for the better is impossible? Intense emotions result from false belief. One of the most prominent – and most destructive – is SHAME. We know what kind of people we really are.
We know what kind of people we should be. And we know that nothing we do seems to propel us from one point to the other, and, consequently we feel shame. Actually, there are different kinds of shame, TOXIC SHAME being the worst.
That’s when we ACTUALLY BECOME the shame. And toxic shame throws us into sexual acting out with a vengeance … almost as if we want to get even. It’s one of Satan’s most potent weapons. In order to be free of shame, we need to CHANGE OUR SELF-CONCEPT. We need to learn to RELATE TO OURSELVES IN A NEW WAY.
To accomplish this, we must begin to base our self-worth on GOD’S opinion of us and TRUST in his Spirit to accomplish change in our lives. Then and only then can we overcome this destructive lie. Please! Recognize that you might be in denial about this whole matter – it’s more comfortable for you to stay in the darkness of denial than to rise into the light of who you really are in Christ. We ALL have incredibly horrible, graphic, painful, perverted incidents in our memory, and sometimes we actually “nurture” them because it seems like it’s all we have to hang on to. They become our identity.
YOUR LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS! We can feel shame for even a small offense. Anything that makes us feel worthless and helpless can open the door for these destructive emotions to come in and take over our thinking. They CRIPPLE US EMOTIONALLY.
Shame is usually the ringleader of these emotions, but so can inferiority, habitually destructive behavior, self-pity, passivity, isolation and withdrawal, loss of creativity, codependent relationships, an extreme dissatisfaction with (even to the point of despising) one’s personal appearance, and – of course – wallowing in the sexual sewer.
What is GOD’S solution for gaining freedom from shame? In a word, REGENERATION. Regeneration is not a self-improvement program. It is not a cleanup campaign for our sinful natures. It is not a positive-thinking alternative.
Regeneration is nothing less than GOD’S IMPARTATION OF A NEW LIFE FOR US! The amount of change we can expect is no less drastic than the difference between life and death:
“Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich is mercy, made us alive with Christ [EVEN WHEN WE WERE DEAD IN TRANSGRESSIONS]” (Ephesians 2:4-5).
Can God’s regeneration make a difference in YOUR life? Read the following passage and decide for yourself:
“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived, and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.
We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.
He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit [regeneration], whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life (Titus 3:3-7).
In HIS love and mine, brothers,
Tony
As you consider the importance of your spiritual identity and the spiritual identity of your children, meditate on these passages: The spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God (Romans 8:16).
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ (Galatians 3:26-27).
And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God (Galatians 4:6-7).
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy (1 Peter 2:9- 10).
See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are. . . . Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not appeared as yet what we shall be. We know that, when He appears, we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him just as He is. And anyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure (1 John 3:1-3).
Related Verses:
Ephesians 2:4-5 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved.
Titus 3:3-7 3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
2 Corinthians 5:16-19 16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
Galatians 4:5-7 5 to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. 6 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba *, Father.” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
* 4:6 Aramaic – intimate form of Father (Daddy)
Romans 8:16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
Galatians 3:26-27 Sons of God 26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
1 Peter 2:9-10 9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
1 John 3:1-3 1 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears,we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.