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Masturbation as Cheating

Brothers,In recent weeks many have posted about whether masturbation is cheating and the various consequences of masturbation. As one who has been addicted to masturbation for about 30 years I have to agree with the writing in the Striving handbook that mast is a selfish activity and regardless of who we think of while doing it we are breaking down the intimacy with our wives. If you question this ask yourself who benefits from your self pleasuring? Is there any benefit for your wife while you pleasure yourself? God intended that in marriage we would join our bodies to our wives and the two would become as one flesh. When we masturbate we break down that intimacy and betray the relationship God intended for husband and wife.

Over the years I have used many excuses for my behavior: My sex drive is much stronger than hers so I must have an outlet.

I can use porn and mast instead of physically cheating on my wife to satisfy my stronger sex drive.

By masturbating I can learn more self control and better pleasure my wife during sex by lasting longer and being a better lover.

God created me with a strong sex drive and I have to have the pleasure.

I could go on with the listing of excuses, logical reasons I justified my actions in porn and mast yet under all of the reasons and excuses are the deceit of the devil and the selfishness of an overgrown teenager who only thought of himself. Each day as I walk closer and closer with the Lord I see the selfishness of my actions, the betrayal to my wife.

Am I through with masturbation and porn? I wish I could say that I will never do that again, but I am a human and have a 30 plus year addiction and habit. I started at 12 or 13 years old and am now approaching 44. Those aren’t broken in an instant, if God were to break the temptation and falling in an instant I would probably think it was on my own willpower and selfishness and pride would take over so each day I must submit anew to the Lord.

As the weeks go by I see more and more my need to submit to the Lord and work on three areas of fitness: spiritual, physical and fiscal. Over the years I have maintained good physical fitness while not growing spiritually and practicing the stewardship the Lord calls his children to.

As I submit each day I pray for the ministry God has for me. I have looked into various areas of ministry some overseas some in full time mission work and so far the doors have not opened. Each day I simply pray that the Lord will use me where I am today and lead me to where I need to be tomorrow. I further pray for a few areas of ministry: leading unbelievers to Christ, helping believers to to grow in Christ, leading men who are trapped in this addiction to freedom, leading others to financial freedom. I feel all believers are commissioned by Christ to lead others to Christ. Further we must use our scars to lead others with the same injury to heal their scars and to realize the freedom only Christ can offer. This means we have to express our weakness and failures to others. Please pray for me as I seek God daily.

I would encourage each man here to daily consider your spiritual maturity and your daily walk with Christ. Until we become humble before the Lord and seek Him more than we seek ourselves we will never know freedom.

If you haven’t posted to the group in a while I would encourage you to let us hear from you. We have a lot of members who we never hear from. Please remember you are loved and will not be judged for we all are guilty and have only been forgiven by the grace of the Lord.

In His Love

David W