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Soul Ties

Soul ties are exactly what they sound like. They are ties from one person’s soul to (or into) another person’s soul.

As you are aware, man is made up of three parts: Body, Soul and Spirit -though to focus on any one without taking into account the other two is wrong because there is so much overlap between all three. (As an example, ever gotten sick, because you’ve strayed from the Lord? Ever strayed from the Lord, because you’ve gotten sick?) Anyway, you and I can relate at any of these three levels.

Let’s go through an example of a man relating with a woman. For instance, I may meet a woman (let’s name her Terrie), and she may work at the same place as I do. Well, as I casually walk pass her and say, “Hi,” and as I work alongside her during the day, I am relating to her primarily on a “physical” level (Note: Don’t think of sex anymore as just a “physical” act. . .I’ll get to that in a minute.)

After a few months of working with Terrie, I really start liking her and wanting to get to know her better, so I ask her out on a date. We go out, I find out more about her . . . we go out again, we start sharing more and more about our hopes and dreams and our hurts and disappointments and now we are relating at the Soul level. (Note: The Soul is typically described as being made up of the mind, will and emotions.) We are actually developing a “soul tie”, because we are relating at the Soul level.

Finally, (actually, I would hope this would happen first or second in a relationship), Terrie and I start to pray together and seek Jesus together. We are now relating on a spiritual level, because we are inviting the Lord to be a part of our relationship. Through prayer and through praise and worship at the same church, etc…, we are communicating spirit to spirit through the Lord.

All three of these types or levels of relationship can occur between between two friends, between co-workers and co-church members, between brother and sister, parent and child and husband and wife. The husband and wife relationship, however, is the relationship where all three of these types of “relating” is the most intimate and most intense. Genesis 2:24 says: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Make no mistake about it, sexual union involves all three parts of your being – body, soul and spirit.

God designed it that way. . . it is not “just” a physical act – never has been, never will. . .The reason the Lord honors the marriage relationship so much is that it best reflects His love for us – and Christ’s love for the church. See and Read (please) Ephesians 5:22-32. Paul is talking about how the marriage relationship explains the ‘profound mystery’ of Christ’s relationship with the church.

Other biblical examples of “soul ties” include: Naomi and Ruth (Mother and Daughter-in-law) and Jonathan and David. See and read (please) Ruth Chapter 1 and I Samuel 18:1, and I Samuel Chapters 19 and 20. (Note: These are godly relationships and godly “soul ties” – not homosexual relationships as some “new age” interpreters would tell you.) In other words, you can have a godly soul tie and a godly relationship with another man, and you may want to even “hang around with him” because of the love God had placed in you for him; however, it becomes perverted when it becomes sexual. Actually, even if it does not become sexual, it could be unhealthy and sinful if it is meeting a need in either one that the Lord desires to meet himself.

OK, so there are soul ties. . . there are healthy ones and unhealthy ones. .. and there are soul ties that are created with and without a sexual union.

If it is sex in the confines of marriage (with your spouse, of course) it is a healthy soul tie that is being created and strengthened; however, any (and I do mean ANY) sexual union (physical, fantasy or otherwise) that is NOT with your spouse will ALWAYS create an unhealthy (wrong, sinful, unnatural, (not God’s will) soul tie. These soul ties are intimate bonds to another human being that were never intended by the Lord.

In I Corinthians 6:12-20 (again, please read), Paul talks about sexual immorality and why it is a bad thing. One of his points is that if you have sex with a prostitute (male or female), you will become “one flesh” (Body, Soul and Spirit) with him or her. You will be joined body, soul and spirit and as a consequence, you have now formed an intimate bond or “soul tie” with that person. Remember, sex is an act of all three parts of your body.

Body, Soul and Spirit. . . all three are involved. That is why it is nonsense when the adulterous husband says, “It was just physical, honey, she (the other woman) doesn’t mean anything to me.” .Well, buster, you may have “sowed your seed” in other pastures to get your temporary physical “jollies,” but the reality is, you have not only given to someone else (physically) what belongs to you wife, you have also formed a soul tie with that other woman – you became one flesh with her! Your wife is rightfully jealous (zealously protective of what is rightfully hers), because you are giving your body, soul and spirit to someone else! No wonder the wife says, “How could you?” over and over again.

Sadly, this scene is repeated way too often in our culture today. May the Lord help us. . . and may He help me and you, to keep us pure! Only by His grace will we avoid this terrible tragedy.

Finally, though this is such a tragedy, God (as always) has made a way for us to be cleansed from all of this unrighteousness and to start over. We need to, literally, break the unhealthy soul ties that we have made with other people. . . regardless of whether we have physically had sex with them or if we just imagined it in our mind or looked at pornography while masturbating. We need to proclaim (by the authority of Christ in us), with our mouths – out loud, that we renounce and break, once and for all, the soul tie with that person (playmate or otherwise) and ask Jesus’ blood to cleanse us. This will break the soul tie and free you/me from the unhealthy bond with the other person. I John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify/cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

You may think this is just “spiritual hocus-pocus”, but I assure you, it is not. I have heard and seen stories of men (and most recently, sadly enough) women who continue to be drawn to and have feelings for the other person -even though they and the other person are married to someone else! The unhealthy soul tie continues to attract them to other people.

I have also heard of a story or two of how a wife feels like “the other woman” is in bed with her and her husband, especially when they are having sex, even when they have forgiven each other. It’s because that man still has a bond with the other woman, and when he has sex with his wife, she senses the other soul tie in her husband and (don’t take this too far) is, in essence, becoming “one” with the other woman as well. The woman is sensing a very, very, very real bond, but it is a soulish and spiritual one. (This is another reason why “woman’s intuition” is so strong when her husband has been cheating on her, even when not consummating the relationship sexually.)

Thankfully, however, once the soul tie is broken, these “feelings” and, a tendency to schizophrenic experiences go away.