It takes 21 days to start a new habit:
Most of us have heard that fact about habits…
While this struggle does not simply boil down solely to mere habits, it is one key part. Some of the books in the “Suggested Reading” area of our site speak of how habits play into sexual problems and addiction. Two of the leading authors on this topic, Stephen Arterburn, and Neil Anderson both explain this in their own separate books. They are not the only ones.
A long train with many cars attached takes a while to get going or to stop. This battle is rooted in what some call ‘strongholds’ or deeply ingrained habits. To escape this takes a lot of work. That seems trite and obvious, but it’s the severe truth.
Those in need of changing deeply ingrained habits will need to stop a lot of momentum. The good news, it is possible. But it takes work. For the majority of us in this group, (or in the books we recommend), the habits/addiction didn’t occur just overnight. So it will take some time, diligence and patience to get some sanity and sense for this area of one’s life.
Here’s some beginning steps:
Take at least one of six addiction self-tests. The reason? It will help one recognize the need to treat this matter seriously.
Perform steps in the “Quitter’s Checklist.”
Find an accountability partner that you can trust. Find someone, even if it someone in your local area, but please find someone (a friend, a pastor, a therapist, etc), because this sin thrives in secrecy.
Consider an Internet Filter for your computer. Some find help with online accountability such as Covenant Eyes or another internet filter.
Move beyond symptoms – Take daily steps to reprogram and ‘re-habit’ your mind. Some call this repentance and it takes more time than you think, but persistence does pay off and it’s worth the effort. Neil Anderson has some great books in the Suggested Books area.
Join the FIC group and begin to learn to use God’s strength with the entire group of men here in our online group. This is a safe place.
Read the book “Every Man’s Battle”. by notable author Stephen Arterburn. Tackle this serious problem head-on! This unique book offers a practical battle plan for men—married or single—who desire to live by God’s standard.
Consider reading the book “The Bondage Breaker” by notable author Neil Anderson.
Also, sign up for Neil Anderson’s daily devotional emails – very good material to recondition your mind with.
Use Firefox web browser and use “Ad Block Plus” to block racy advertisements. This ad block is a plugin for the Firefox web browser and works great everywhere.
Prepare in advance for temptation and to recondition your mind so you are not an easy target. No overcomes this struggle without reconditioning their mind. It takes discipline, time and effort and God’s grace.
Realize you’re not perfect; don’t beat yourself up if you fail. Yet don’t use this as a license to binge. Focus on one day at a time
If you fail, track down in your mind the change in course your mind took like a rudder of a ship changing course to a new destination. Acting out doesn’t just occur, Neil Anderson’s book speaks of how our behavior is first started with a “seed thought”. It takes time and diligence to overcome this.
You can’t do this alone, and if you can, you’re quite the exception to the rule. This sin thrives in secrecy. We have found, and the books we read show clearly that most will not make it alone. You need to develop humility and be open to asking for help when struggling – so you can have the support of others!
Feed yourself with truth – these real recovery stories are a good point to start at.
Find the support of many recovering men within the FIC group.
We are not counselors!
We at FIC are not professional counselors and your use of the materials presented is solely at your own discretion. Although we are not trained as such, Christ Jesus (according to Scripture) is the wonderful counselor and He is always faithful.
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God” (Galatians 2:20).